that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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