And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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