I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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