Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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