Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
