Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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