can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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