Sry I called you an 8
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
