I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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