I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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