Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
