can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
