She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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