I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
