Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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