the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
