The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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