Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
