I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
