oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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