I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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