Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
