I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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