so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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