Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
