Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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