I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
