all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
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