The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
