I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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