the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Randomize
