you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
