ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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