they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You made out with two different species that night
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
