Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
