home. puking in laundry basket.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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