He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
