sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
