Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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