Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
