I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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