just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
