pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
oh god the rape fog is back!
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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