Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
