Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
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