I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
