you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
