Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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