How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
