I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
