woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
