Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
