..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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