I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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